tip about sleep(less) shock!

"...biggest shock for me was the sleeplessness and early 5 am wake up calls. I knew about the frequent wake ups in the first 3 month but did not know it would last even till now, 18 months old, even with trying cry it out, it does not work. He periodically sleeps 2-3 weeks through the night, but than has weeks of waking up...i think teething. So I wish someone had told me to expect not to have a child who sleeps through the night. Everyone always asks, how does he sleep? Is he sleeping through the night? I have tried everything the books say and he doesn't. I thought it was me or I did something wrong, but now I think it is all temperment . Most people whose kids sleep did nothing to make it happen. So I wish someone would have told me it's okay if they don't sleep though, it's tough, but there is nothing wrong, it's normal, it's okay and you're okay!"

Motherhood.....a new tip

Motherhood is often described as a selfless job which is definitely true. Changing diapers, feeding an infant and many other things of this nature will become your new routine. My wish for you is that as you enter this selfless time in your life, that you remember to set aside time for yourself. It is the best gift you can give yourself, your baby, and your partner. Do not be afraid to ask for help from family, friends and neighbors because having a baby is not meant to be a walk in the park. Take time for yourself every day, even if it is just to take a shower. I know this seems like a simple tip but it is something I so often see new moms forgetting to do. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your baby.

tip from a new mom

tip from a new mom

I wish that someone had told me how hard the beginning of motherhood would be. That being a mom was not happy and fun in the beginning at all. It is physically painful and emtotionally tiring and you feel sad for a while. It really takes about 3 months before you start to feel good about the entire thing.

Tips for moms to be

Tips for moms to be from a new mommmy

Here are some things I wish someone had told me:

1. Research and meet up with expectant moms/new moms in your neighborhood BEFORE you give birth. That way you will already have people to support you and compare notes with when the baby arrives.

2. Arrange to have someone very close to you (your mom, mother-in-law, or sister, or hired help) provide ROUND THE CLOCK help during as much of the first month as possible. Especially when your husband/partner has to go back to work. It should be someone you won't feel shy about asking to help you with specific tasks, like making you a meal, taking out the garbage, and doing your laundry.

3. If you plan to breastfeed exclusively, you should try to pump a few feedings early on and have your husband, or other helper give the baby some night feedings so you can get a few long stretches of uninterrupted sleep.

4. It may sound silly, but practice opening and closing your stroller and taking the car seat in and out of the car before the baby comes so you are really familiar with these new tools. It was overwhelming and frustrating to wrestle with them and deal with the baby at the same time.

5. Stock your pantry and freezer with healthy food that is easy to make and eat quickly.

Pregnancy & Postpartum Mood Disorders and Depression

Pregnancy & Postpartum Mood Disorders and Depression HELP IS AVAILABLE 24/7 - call 855-422-2255

The Postpartum Resource Center of New York

Postpartum Progress

Postpartum Support International

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) e.e.cummings

Thalasso Bain Bebe par Sonia Rochel

You were pregnant for nine months; you are postpartum for the rest of your life. -Robin Lim

THINGS THAT MATTER

OUR LIVES BEGIN TO END THE DAY WE BECOME SILENT ABOUT THINGS THAT MATTER
-MARTIN LUTHER KING JR

The Night You Were Born

The Night You Were Born

Dear Oliver,

I met your Mommy pretty late in her pregnancy with you. From the moment we met, she expressed how ready she was to meet you. We all thought you would be born very soon, however, you stayed nice and comfortable inside Mommy through the end of August, and then through Hurricane Irene which I thought I would have to go out in to get to your birth. But you had other plans.
Your Mommy, Daddy and big Brother Henry had been anxiously waiting your arrival for a few weeks before you decided it would be a good time to come. Then on September 4th you were ready. And I mean ready! Your mommy called me at 5:30pm to say she thought that it would be the night! About an hour later, she called again and said the contractions were 10 minutes apart. An hour later, they were 4 minutes apart! So we all left for the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital around 8:30pm, your mom was in very active labor. The contractions were about 2 minutes apart and strong. Your mommy was amazing through each one, moving around and coping beautifully. Not long after I arrived, Mommy said she needed to push. Daddy and Henry walked in just in time and after about 5 minutes of strong pushing, you were born - perfect in every way. The look of love and joy on Mommy and Daddy’s faces was priceless. When you were first born, you gave out a nice cry but then settled peacefully on your mommy’s chest and nursed for the next hour. It was a beautiful moment of bliss.

Happy Birthday Oliver!

"Where I live, there are rainbows..."

"Where I live, there are rainbows..."
By B. Wong

I am an 80 year old grandmother of a dozen precious grandchildren ranging in ages from 4 days old to 27 years reflecting a rainbow of ethnic backgrounds – Chinese, Hawaiian, Spanish, English, German, Korean, Norwegian, Italian, and French. I was born in Paradise – in Honolulu on the island of O’ahu when Hawai’i was still a territory of the United States of America.

As a child, I lived on the beach at Paiko Drive, gathering seashells and catching tiny fishes. Every summer was spent on a ranch in Upcountry Maui. My spirit was able to expand by the sea, the sky and the wide-open spaces. There was time for dreaming and watching clouds by day and counting stars at night. I was introduced to the best of Portuguese culinary arts by Godmother Santos who bakes the most delicious bread in her outdoor brick oven. I was also introduced to Japanese cuisine by the Goyas, a family I lived with.

I was fortunate to have inherited the rich traditions of the Chinese, the Hawaiian and the Spanish from my forebears whose adventuresome spirits impelled them to come to our islands by sailing vessels from China and Spain. The Chinese brought their shrine of Buddha and the Spanish, the cross of Jesus Christ.

From the Chinese, I inherited their work ethic, their industriousness, love of study, deference to elders, a reserve, and an appreciation of the creative delicacies of the Chinese cuisine. My father, respected physician, worked 7 days a week for 26 years without ever taking a vacation.

From the Hawaiian, I inherited a love for the aina, for the ohana, family & children (my maternal grandmother cherished each of her 15 children), for the music and dance, for the unhurried way – time to listen, time to laugh, time to talk story, time to relax, time to enjoy simple things in life – ho’omanawanui (after my maternal Chinese grandfather died, my maternal grandmother reverted to her Hawaiian culture – language, dress and food – back to fish & poi).

From the Spanish I inherited a passion for God, a deep and abiding faith and love from His Church. Forever etched in my mind is my favorite painting of Jesus – El Prendimiento by the premier Spanish painter, Goya, which may be seen in the El Greco museum in Toledo, Spain.

From the American, I inherited my educational and spiritual formation. The Maryknoll sisters and priests from the East Coast – mostly Irish, nurtured my soul and brought me into a deeper relationship with God. As a child of 7, I was taught to sing ‘Jesus, Jesus, come to me, all my longing if for Thee’ – a simple hymn that would precipitate a momentous personal encounter 36 years later.

The Ursuline Sisters in Westchester, New York (an order founded by an Italian) completed my Higher Education in Fine Arts and led me into a deeper contemplative life.

An incomparable year at the Sorbonne in Paris, la plus belle ville du monde – an introduction to La Vie en Rose, a taste of the finest in French culture and the culinary arts, as well as the extensive subsequent travels around the world (Norway, Sweden, Denmark, England, Scotland, Ireland, Holland, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Italy, Switzerland, Spain, Portugal, Israel, Greece, Egypt, India, Thailand, Hong Kong, Japan, Philippines, the Samoas, Fiji, Tahiti, BoraBora, New Zealand, Australia, Mexico, Guatemala, Canada, and the Virgin Islands) enlarged my horizons and deepened my appreciation of all cultures. I was enriched by the best of every culture & since I was very adaptable by nature, it was easy to heed my mothers very wise counsel – “When in Rome, do as the Romans”.

So many people have touched my life and I have been shaped by their love – a love to transcends all cultural barriers – love, beauty and truth are universal, I am eternally grateful from the memories which continue to sustain and nourish me.

Now I have come full circle and am content to live a quiet and peace filled life bless by the sounds of silence in my garden by the Bay in Hawai’i Nui – for I live, there will always be rainbows. Grace a Dieu.






Beautiful vignettes from Mrs. Wong...I am so lucky to reap the benefit of my grandparents doing a favor for a couple of 18 year old girls over 30 years ago. So I share her vingettes that she wrote to help me with a project in college for my mulitcultural education class. I have learned more from her than I ever will in any class.

The Hidden Risk of Epidurals

I often hear my clients say that their doctors have told them there are no real risks associated with an epidural...which is just plain false.

Here is good article about some of the risks associated with epidural: The Hidden Risk of Epidurals

Know the facts!

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advise, solutions or cures, have rather chosen to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand."

-Henri Nouwen

Life is Terminal

Blossoms fall and weeds grow wild

Enjoy the ride dude

-Craig Kyusen

Words every laboring woman should consider before they choose a care provider.....

"If a woman doesn’t look like a goddess during birth, then someone isn’t treating her right."
~ Ina May Gaskin

Your doctor may be well-known, and even well-liked but that does not mean he or is she is right for you. Find a care provider who treats you and your pregnancy gently. The way you are cared for during your pregnancy is a reflection of how you will be treated during labor. Do not ignore signs if you feel uncomfortable during your prenatal visits, or if you feel rushed in and out of each visit. There ARE doctors and midwives out there who will listen to you, help address your fears and answer each and every question you have.